Leaving' on a Jet Plane....(apologies for the weird formatting, I had some trouble with the photos)

Last night, as I was purchasing a dozen mini-slinkies for a ransom payment for Olivia's toy airplane, I had a moment where I thought "is it just my family? Why do these weird things happen to us? Do we put something out into the karmic universe that sends weird stuff our way?"

Because, honestly...have YOU ever had to purchase a dozen mini-slinkies to meet ransom demands of any sort, much less ransom demands for a toy airplane that your teenage daughter keeps in her purse? I'm guessing the answer to that is no. Probably because you're normal, and our family...isn't.

Let's back up a bit. Somewhere along the line, I think while helping Mike with a school project, Olivia acquired a tiny toy airplane. She named it "Jet" and started carrying it around in her purse. How its existence became known to her classmates I don't exactly know. My guess is that she probably played with it in class or something...

On Friday, Olivia noticed that Jet was missing. On the school's general message board the following was posted:

In my opinion, 14 bucks is a pretty high ransom for a .97 cent airplane, but Olivia decided to pay it. She duly stuffed 14 dollars into an envelope and taped it inside the appropriate bathroom stall. As she left the school, a girl totally unknown to her handed her another note:

Olivia realized (as most politicians and diplomats know already) that you shouldn't negotiate with terrorists, because they are untrustworthy. So she ran back into the bathroom and managed to retrieve her envelope of cash despite the fact that the stall containing the cash also contained a presumably confused student who was just minding her own business.

There's a couple funny things about this whole situation. First of all, the whole thing is driving Olivia NUTS. She is the ultimate insider, always the instigator of jokes, not the butt of them. The fact that she can't figure out who the kidnapper is (or kidnappers, because it's quite possible this is a conspiracy) is making her crazy. Apparently her entire school knows about the kidnapping, and knows the identity of the heinous criminal(s) too.

Also, I find it amusing that the kidnapper feels compelled to comment on Olivia's appearance. So is the kidnapper hitting on Olivia? Or just trying to soften the blow of losing her beloved friend by saying she's pretty?

In the meantime, Jet has managed to set up a "myspace" http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=136679308

and acquired 95 "friends", including the ubiquitious Tom, who is everybody's friend on myspace. Jet has a profile, and even a photo album on myspace. Many of Jet's "friends" have posted inspiring messages. (My personal favorite ends with "Courage, jet.") If you have a myspace account, please ask to be added to Jet's "Friends" list. I myself have been rejected, for reasons unknown.

After seeing the efforts that Jet's captors have gone through, we decided that this little escapade needs to continue. Hence, our purchase of 12 mini-slinkies. The captors have no idea who they're messing with, because Eric and I are already plotting several responses to the kidnapper's demands. I have access to the highest levels of local government. Previous experience in kidnapping items. No life, and therefore endless amounts of time to plot. This should be good....