Bunch of Doublecrossers!

boo.

The Tuesday Hat

The Monday Hat

Do you like my hat?

So I'm not exactly sure why, but on Monday Eric decided to wear a floppy fishing hat while driving Olivia to school. And I'm not exactly sure why, but Olivia failed to notice the hat. And I'm not exactly sure why, but Olivia's lack of response to said hat really pissed Eric off.

Eric: She's playing me! You can't tell me she didn't notice my hat!
Me: Maybe you should wear a sillier hat...(insert evil giggle here)

So Tuesday comes around and this time Eric's driving attire includes my new roll-up fleece hat from Lands End, tags still attached.

Eric: Not a friggin' word! She just got in the car, put in her earphones and went to sleep. What a jerk!
Me: Perhaps the hats are just normal enough to be within the realm of behavior she expects from you. Let's go look at some other hat options, shall we?

(Now I should interject that my father has some truly awesome hats, hats that are still here in this very house.)

Eric tried on a series of hats. My personal favorites were the English bobby hat, and the green army helmet made of metal. Although the sombrero was nice, too. Eric and I laugh hysterically, both at the idea of Olivia trying not to to be embarrassed by a chauffeur wearing a sombrero and Eric having to keep a straight face the whole ride while other drivers are mocking him.

Eric decided to go with a not-too-outrageous hat for Wednesday. His plan is to slowly escalate, until his headwear is so ridiculous that there is simply no way that Olivia can ignore it.

So now it's time for me to go to Olivia. I ask her about the hats, and she rolls her eyes and says "of course I noticed the hats. I just figured if I ignored him, he get bored and stop. I didn't know he was trying to embarrass me, I thought he was just trying to make me laugh"

I tell her of Eric's plan and we agree: no matter how crazy, over the top and flat out lunatic his headwear, Olivia will not respond. Her orders are to change absolutely nothing: just get in the car every morning, put on her headphones and go to sleep. When she gets out of the car in the a.m., she's to wish him a good day and go on her merry way.

Of course I opt not to tell Eric this. I want to see exactly how far he will go.

When Olivia gets in the car Wednesday morning, Eric tips his plaid newsboy cap at her. No response.

Eric calls me on Wednesday afternoon. He is livid. "Okay, I must be so invisible to her that she just doesn't even really see me! Three mornings in a row I've been wearing stupid hats and she doesn't even bat an eye."

Thursday morning: Eric wears a hat that looks something like this:



No response.

Friday morning hat:



No response.

It's about to get crazy. I'll keep you posted.

By the way, the answer to the quiz in the last post is "Ivy castrates a man with her bare hands."

Weekly Address May 5, 2007

How completely outrageous does a show have to be for Ivy to gently discourage her parents from seeing it?

Ivy is in a show at UCSC this weekend and has indicated that it is not strictly necessary for us to come see it. This is a girl who under normal cirumstances would be so mad if we missed a show that....well it's never actually happened because we're too afraid of her.

So let's play a little game, shall we? Below is a list of shocking events, some of which have occurred in shows that we've already seen Ivy in, and one of which is apparently so wildly inappropriate that Ivy doesn't wish us to see it.

1. Ivy is topless
2. Ivy shares a same sex kiss on stage
3. Ivy wears a dog collar and a burka
4. Ivy castrates a man with her bare hands
5. Ivy appears on stage in a negligee, toting a machine gun and kills two people
6. Ivy crushes a woman's head with a golf club

See if you can guess the offending act!

Brief Life of Crime
In other news, Eric and I attempted to sneak into a movie today. We paid to see "Disturbia" (kinda good, plus it has Shia LaBouef and I sort of have an innapropriate crush on him) and then decided to sneak into "Hot Fuzz." We casually strolled into the theatre and panicked a bit because a security guard came in shortly after us and asked some people to show their stubs. But then the guard left, so we relaxed and watched the previews...which is when I realized that I'd left my purse in the OTHER theatre. So Eric stood up and yelled "hey! This isn't Spiderman!" and we left.

That was kind of an anticlimatic story, wasn't it? Sorry. It was funny at the time.

Prom Pictures

Olivia really loves her shoes and made me take a picture of them!

Do you think Olivia looks annoyed? I think this picture is probably an accurate prediction of the future-like if you just aged them 40 years, this could be a photo of them at their kids wedding or something....seriously, it even has Raquel in the background-there's at least a chance that Raquel and Olivia could be related by marriage someday!

Cute Couple