Strange and Beautiful

Shoulder guy extraordinaire.

Balderdash champion,

eye roller of some skill.

My stepfather, Doug Kantola died on March 22, 2006. He was known for many things, most notably his patience with divas of all ages, especially those related to him. As far as I know, he is the only person to successfully get Olivia (the toddler Olivia, that is) to shut up. And eat her cookies.

I don't think I've ever been particularly afraid of death per se, just pain. Doug's experience reinforces the fear of pain, which isn't good. I never, ever, want to go through that. However, my previous views of death were supported during his illness and eventual passing. I came away with a profound sense of life and the cycle we all go through. I feel deeply privileged to have been there with Doug when he died and although it was incredibly sad, there was also something very strange and beautiful in the room.

I don't think I can do the experience justice in words here, but my mom, Eric and Donnie and I experienced something that ultimately was the opposite of death.

None of this makes it any easier. My mother is in pain. We are all heartbroken. Having said that, I know it's a cliche but I am glad that Doug is no longer suffering. Even though I'm not a religious person, wherever he is now has got to be a better place...

I want to put in a good word for the wonderful hospice folks. They helped us all to understand what was happening and though it was tough to hear at the time, that understanding has gone a long way to help with the grieving process.