What is funny?

Today I am forced to examine the concept of humor and what makes people laugh. This is offered up as an instructional guide for my readership (which stretches all the way to West Virigina now-hi everybody!). I don't intend for this to be seen as censorship or anything, but merely a guideline for those who make pathetic attempts at humor. This of course doesn't apply to me, because I crack myself up and that's all that matters since this is after all MY blog.

Here's the deal. I walk upstairs this morning and propped up in front of our computer monitor is a paperback book. The book is a dog-eared, well-read (as all our books are) copy of the tragic young adult story "Beat the Turtle Drum." (See Exhibit A, below)

Exhibit A

As you can see, the front cover of the book has been annotated or labeled by some deviant, who shall be known from this point forward by the pseudonym of "Erick". I'm thinking that this "Erick" miscreant must have come across this book (quite possibly while cleaning out the garage) and- he apparently finds it relevant to my life in some really indirect and inexplicable manner.

Let's examine this in detail, shall we? First of all, here's the amazon.com description of the book: "The heartwrenching story of how a young girl comes to terms with her sister's death."

So right off the bat, we have some problems. I don't have a sister, alive or dead. So labeling the sullen girl on the front as "Siobhan" is not accurate. Although I supposes you could argue the "sullen" part.

Then, we have the image of a horse frollicking in the background, helpfully labeled "Dempsey." I know "Erick" hates our cats, especially Dempsey, but there's no way a sane person would confuse a 10 pound tabby for a horse. AND if "Erick" had actually bothered to read a bit of "Beat the Turtle Drum", he would know that the innocuous looking little equine is basically a horsey of death.

Then there is the phrase "Tricky Tommy" artlessly inserted into the title after the word "Turtle." This practically defines the term "inside joke" as nobody outside of my very close friends and family know about Tricky Tommy Turtle. The attempt to somehow tie together the tragic loss of a young girl to the "tragic" loss of innocence suffered by a 25 year old who didn't figure out that it was her PARENTS who were demonically possessed, not her toy turtle...well, it simply doesn't work.

Finally, there's the most ridiculous part of the whole "joke" - a barnlike structure labeled "Johnson House." You would think that a man who actually made a documentary ABOUT the "Johnston House" might know how to spell the name of the building. You would be wrong.

So let's get this all straight-a sullen young girl who hangs out at a historic building, with a horse, representing me as a child puzzling over how the hell Tricky Tommy Turtle moves about the house at night, sans batteries, is supposed to be FUNNY?

You know what? It is, kinda. Good job, "Erick."