Oscar Party Recap

Instead of a boring re-hash of the events of the annual Big Sandy Bottom Oscar Party, I offer the following partial list of items (kindly inventoried by Ivy) from which we created our much-coveted Oscar goodie bags:

• 4 Star Wars yo-yos
• 3 camouflage binoculars
• 13 sparkly pencils
• 1 black eye scope
• 4 light up rings
• 1 clown nose
• 4 Bat-a-Rangs
• 1 Fart Whistle
• 1 Team Player Ribbon
• 24 Harry Potter stickers
• 5 "swankies"
• 1 Philosophy Toasted Marshmallow Body Lotion
• 1 Kiehls "for the ladies" shaving cream
• 1 DHC mild facial soap (cleverly packaged to resemble a condom)
• 2 Nivea for Men aftershave lotion
• 1 leopard-spotted tampon case
• 1 12-ounce bag of brussels sprouts

I think the above list is a fair representation of the spirit of the party. A good time was had by all, except for Paula's cat, who was miserable.

By the way, only at my house would someone bring a cat to an Oscar party! I mean, who the hell brings a cat to a party?!!