Weekly Address June 11, 2007 (Freeeeeebiiirrrrd!)

• Why does everyone yell "Freebird" at concerts? I mean, so do I...I just want to know why? Beginning with Andy Gibb - (I was 13, give me a break) - at every concert I've ever attended, at middle school band concerts for gods sake, people who've never even heard of Lynard Skynard scream "Freebird" during the song intervals. I demand an explanation.
  

• Irony: Ivy purchased a car and got a "good driver" discount on her insurance.
  

• Is it too much to expect that at the very least, a boss shouldn't be certifiably insane? Is that just too high a bar to set?
  

• A local resident sent an irate letter to the city and hinted that I am a "possibly disobedient executive city staff member." Possibly disobedient? Somehow I'm more offended by the "possibly" than anything else in the letter. What a rebel I am.
  

• I laughed at my mom's "real age" (realage.com) until I took the quiz and it said my "real age" is 52. Suddenly it's not so funny anymore...

• I don't understand why my family hasn't enthusiastically embraced my plan for a wacky scavenger hunt during our upcoming Disney World trip. (quoth Olivia: "You do know we're going with family, not a church group, right?")

• It's official: we have too many cats.

• Major Award Alert: I won a trip to Sanibel Island, FL. Most of you already know, but I forgot to give this announcement the Major Award Alert it deserves.

• RIP Veronica Mars. :(
  

• Speaking of Veronica Mars, I was perplexed to learn that Ivy tells all her friends that I am the "Veronica Mars" of my generation. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. But perplexed nonetheless.

Big Sandy Bottom is abuzz with vacation preparations. I'm still not exactly how sure how our trip costs morphed from "practically free" to "roughly the GNP of a third world nation." (Full disclosure: I actually DO know, but in case Eric reads this, I'm going with feigned shock.)

We're going to have a great time though. Here's a list of only SOME of the reasons we're going to have the best trip ever:

1. We're celebrating my mom's 65th (or 82nd) birthday.
2. We're celebrating my 43rd (or 52nd) birthday.
3. This time we have a secret plan to keep Ivy hydrated. It may or may not involve syringes. I'm not allowed to talk about it.
4. C-PAPs on Parade!
5. Wacky scavenger hunt. (see above).