Do you like my hat?

So I'm not exactly sure why, but on Monday Eric decided to wear a floppy fishing hat while driving Olivia to school. And I'm not exactly sure why, but Olivia failed to notice the hat. And I'm not exactly sure why, but Olivia's lack of response to said hat really pissed Eric off.

Eric: She's playing me! You can't tell me she didn't notice my hat!
Me: Maybe you should wear a sillier hat...(insert evil giggle here)

So Tuesday comes around and this time Eric's driving attire includes my new roll-up fleece hat from Lands End, tags still attached.

Eric: Not a friggin' word! She just got in the car, put in her earphones and went to sleep. What a jerk!
Me: Perhaps the hats are just normal enough to be within the realm of behavior she expects from you. Let's go look at some other hat options, shall we?

(Now I should interject that my father has some truly awesome hats, hats that are still here in this very house.)

Eric tried on a series of hats. My personal favorites were the English bobby hat, and the green army helmet made of metal. Although the sombrero was nice, too. Eric and I laugh hysterically, both at the idea of Olivia trying not to to be embarrassed by a chauffeur wearing a sombrero and Eric having to keep a straight face the whole ride while other drivers are mocking him.

Eric decided to go with a not-too-outrageous hat for Wednesday. His plan is to slowly escalate, until his headwear is so ridiculous that there is simply no way that Olivia can ignore it.

So now it's time for me to go to Olivia. I ask her about the hats, and she rolls her eyes and says "of course I noticed the hats. I just figured if I ignored him, he get bored and stop. I didn't know he was trying to embarrass me, I thought he was just trying to make me laugh"

I tell her of Eric's plan and we agree: no matter how crazy, over the top and flat out lunatic his headwear, Olivia will not respond. Her orders are to change absolutely nothing: just get in the car every morning, put on her headphones and go to sleep. When she gets out of the car in the a.m., she's to wish him a good day and go on her merry way.

Of course I opt not to tell Eric this. I want to see exactly how far he will go.

When Olivia gets in the car Wednesday morning, Eric tips his plaid newsboy cap at her. No response.

Eric calls me on Wednesday afternoon. He is livid. "Okay, I must be so invisible to her that she just doesn't even really see me! Three mornings in a row I've been wearing stupid hats and she doesn't even bat an eye."

Thursday morning: Eric wears a hat that looks something like this:



No response.

Friday morning hat:



No response.

It's about to get crazy. I'll keep you posted.

By the way, the answer to the quiz in the last post is "Ivy castrates a man with her bare hands."